Jealousy

So tonight I was doing the dishes and comparing two similar situations …

Situation 1: Melissa

A few months ago I was at a party on the Shore and very interested to watch as a female acquaintance Melissa hooked up with a random guy Dylan (who she didn’t know). Now I’m just fine with random hookups – as long as people aren’t being stupidly skanky – but I felt a bit weird and slightly cross about this particular hookup. It took me some time to figure it out, but eventually I realised that I was actually jealous. I wasn’t jealous of Melissa, or of Dylan for sleeping with her, I was jealous because they (both) managed to hook up with a stranger, at a party, and I never have – I’ve never met a woman and been able to take her back to my place within just a few hours. When they made it look so easy, it reminded me that I simply didn’t have that skill.

Situation 2: Rebecca

I hooked up with a girl called Rebecca some time ago (before I got my current girlfriend), and I recalled the night we hooked up at a small (non-party) Uni gathering, bought together by mutual friends. For various reasons our relationship didn’t go beyond one night, even though I would have liked to explore those possibilities, but I think of that night (and Rebecca) fondly, because she’s a very attractive woman and I’m very happy that I was able to handle that particular situation.

The Realisation

A thought I had never had before tonight is that one of my friends at that small gathering was my ex-flatmate Brendan, who has recently been completely unwilling to talk to any women (that’s really a whole ‘nother blog post). Tonight, I put myself in his shoes. Brendan was probably thinking very similar thoughts to my own jealousy of Melissa and Dylan: when I made it look easy to hook up with Rebecca, it made him slightly cross and jealous, because I reminded him that he simply didn’t have that skill.

It was a pretty sobering realisation. My own insecurity felt so much smaller when I placed myself in Brendan’s shoes, being jealous of me. I have much better skills with women than he does (no offense to Brendan intended).

I guess that’s relativity for you …

Wolf Cub

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~ by wolfcub on April 30, 2007.

 
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