Wussiness in Relationships

Wellington blogger Kiwicrog calls ‘bullshit‘ on my assertion that dating skills (like ‘cocky and funny’ humour, confidence and flirting) are relevant in relationships.

Well, let’s turn to the Master Himself. I learnt a lot from David DeAngelo’s fantastic E-Book Double Your Dating which is focussed on meeting women, getting their info, and going on successful dates with them. One of the most important parts is inner confidence about one’s own worth. Relationships, DeAngelo says, are beyond the scope of the book.

But skills and confidence with women are still essential in relationships, and I’ll tell you why. Wussiness is never attractive to women – especially in a boyfriend. Many breakups are caused by the attraction simply drying up, and when it fails on the women’s side, I suspect most of the time it is because her man has forgotten to keep being a strong and independent person and become a dependent, insecure wussy. David D:

The reality is that the reason she probably left you is because you had NO GAME. You were about as sexually interesting to her as Homer Simpson. If you want to get her back, go learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION …

Now that I feel more confident with women, I don’t feel like the world would end if I broke up with my girlfriend. The interesting bit is that rather than this making me less attached, it means I’m not ‘loving in fear’ anymore – worrying that she might leave me. I now know that I can attract women no matter what. Previously I might have described getting a girlfriend as ‘getting lucky’ or being in the right place at the right time, but now I know that getting into a relationship with my girlfriend was a conscious choice on my part – I chose her because she was what I wanted. My confidence has changed everything.
A few comments from David D will back me up here:

Always remember, don’t turn into a WUSSY if you do get into a relationship. If you do, you’ll either find yourself being dumped or wake up one day with a ring through your nose and a leash around your neck… and an unhappy woman in your life to boot.

I love it when married guys write in and tell me how this stuff is making their relationships better. Women never stop wanting a man to do the right things… if only more men knew this.

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Wolfcub

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~ by wolfcub on May 19, 2007.

2 Responses to “Wussiness in Relationships”

  1. Lol, nice way to twist my meaning. You should be a journalist 😉

    What I thought was bullshit was that you really enjoyed getting a nice poem from your gf about how much she appreciated and needed you… Then you said “oh but it would be really bad if I ever did the same thing because that would be WUSSY”

    No-one needs David’s Dubious Dickhead lessons to know how to keep their partner feeling great.

    David asserts the danger of being a “wuss” in a relationship, what do you think the danger is of not letting yourself get attached to your partner?

  2. Kiwicrog, you’re just not getting it. It WOULD be bad if I gave her a poem about how much I needed her and how my world would fall apart if she left me (those being the wussy elements of the poem).
    But it wouldn’t be bad if I gave her a non-wussy poem. Such a poem might talk about beauty, how much you enjoy being in love and how wonderful it is to be to be with this person.
    And I sent her a love-letter a month ago saying just that.
    Can you see the subtle difference between what those two examples are focussing on? One has a wussy focus (don’t leave me, I need you), the other is non-wussy (love, being together).
    They say essentially the same thing (I love you, I love being in this relationship) in different ways.

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