Mind Games?

Romance is a spice, not a main dish

 I was out having dinner and drinks with some friends in the weekend and got chatting with my lovely lady friend Megan whom I have known for some time.  After commenting that she appeared very much in love with her long-term boyfriend, I told her how things are going with my girlfriend, including the slightly sappy story of how I sometimes randomly think of her and it strikes me that I really am in love with her.

Megan:  “And do you tell her this?”

Me (smiling): “Sometimes.”

Megan: “Wolfcub!  Don’t play mind games!”

… and she lectured me about not playing mind games for more than five minutes!

I agree that mind games in a relationship are a bad idea, but I think I know the difference between mind games and being confident and attractive (and not being clingy or wussy).  If I informed my girlfriend every time she crossed my mind, I’d be txting her about ten-fifteen times a day.  That’s the sort of thing a wussy, insecure guy might do.

When The Good Doctor exorcised his inner wussy, he wasn’t playing mind games. He was doing something much more serious. He was being dominant, powerful … and attractive. And his wife loved it, and their marriage is better for it.

My girlfriend loves me, and I love her back, and she knows it.  But if her phone buzzed every half hour with “You are so beautiful” or “I love you so much” those messages would lose their meaning.  And I would lose my power.  There is a counter-intuitive phrase, give her the gift of missing you.  Think about that.  In this context, it’s about being secure in the knowledge that this woman is attracted to me, and not needing to bombard her with sappy romantic messages.

When those messages do get sent, though, they are more powerful for it. Romance is a spice, not a main dish – and as such it is best not to over-use it.


~ by wolfcub on August 5, 2007.

2 Responses to “Mind Games?”

  1. You’re right, Wolfcub. I would freak out if my man told me twenty times a day how much he loves me. But still, I would prefer this rather than he asks me twenty times a day if I love him. That’s really freaky.

  2. Earnest says : I absolutely agree with this !

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