Raw Sexual Chemistry

•July 29, 2007 • Comments Off on Raw Sexual Chemistry


Han Solo and Princess Leia – an intense attraction hidden under insults …


I believe that between men and women there is an instinctual chemistry which communicates sexual attraction. Until a man understands this ancient connection, he won’t make any progress with women. It is the raw sexual chemistry underneath the social ritual which he doesn’t understand.

Once he does understand it, and can communicate on that level with women, it doesn’t matter what he says; he will have success with women

I think that these men understand the social ritual – that you’re meant to show interest, ask a woman out, take her to dinner, kiss her, and then you get to have sex – but that’s actually the least important part of the process. It is the verbal sparring, the eye contact, the raw crackling attraction that fires up between two people … that’s what really matters in the interaction. This isn’t obvious to a lot of men. Men and magazines talk and joke about ‘pickup lines’ and ‘when to call’ – but never mention chemistry, eye contact, attitudes and verbal aspects of the interaction.

Part of the reason that these men fail to drum up chemistry with women is that they think they have to hide their sex drive. What a mistake! I think most women want a sexual man. Women never mention this – when pressed, they insist they want a sensitive, caring, intelligent man with a sense of humour – but if a man doesn’t turn her on, get her a little hot under the collar, any attraction will wane and she will lose interest.

What a woman describes what she is looking for in a man (sense of humour etc) she means what she wants in a man she is already attracted to. If the man who got her blood flowing also happened to be intelligent, caring and have a sense of humour, she’d be in heaven! And as far as ‘caring’ goes, I once heard a woman describe how she needed her ideal lover to be aggressive and mean to the outside world – but be sensitive and loving to her and their children. Now that’s food for thought.




Bye-Bye Love

•July 25, 2007 • 2 Comments

Bye-Bye Love
Hope that life is kinder to you
Than you’ve ever been to me

Bye-Bye Love
Hope the people are nicer to you
Than you’ve ever been to me

Bye-Bye Love
Hope you get more sympathy for you
Than you’ve ever shown me

Bye-Bye Love
Hope the world is better for you
Than you’ve ever been to me

Bye-Bye Love
Hope the grass is greener for you
Than the dry patch you’ve left me tending

Bye-Bye Love
Hope when I run into you
That you’ll still be smiling

Bye-Bye Love
Hope you don’t feel bad that losing you
Is what that got started me winning

Bye-Bye Love
Hope that you never realize this letter is for you
Even though you know it’s me who’s writing.


Suppressing the Weirdest Thoughts

•June 11, 2007 • Comments Off on Suppressing the Weirdest Thoughts

Oh hell yes.

Courtesy of the always-brilliant XKCD


Would You Want To Know …

•May 21, 2007 • 3 Comments

… if your ex had cheated on you during your relationship?

It’s been more than a year after the breakup, and you both have new partners.  One day, scars mostly healed, the two of you meet for coffee, and the thought crosses your mind that you could ask your ex to be honest and tell you whether they had ever cheated on you while the two of you were together.

So would you want to know? 

 I’ve decided I definitely wouldn’t want to know.  Why spoil those old memories?

So I didn’t ask …

The Importance of Dating Skills

•May 21, 2007 • 1 Comment

We all have friends that don’t have much luck with opposite sex. I have several*. Try putting yourself in their shoes. How many dates have they been on in the last year? You know they would make good boyfriends, so why don’t girls see that? It’s clear that these guys would love to have a relationship. Is the reason they don’t have a girlfriend really because they ‘haven’t found the right girl yet’ and it’s just a matter or time (and luck) – or is it because they aren’t confident enough to go ahead and talk to many (if any) girls?

Now I’m not exactly Mac Daddy himself – but I am so amazed that I have gotten from where I was to where I am now. I would love to see a lot of my male friends make similar progress. It’s difficult bringing the subject up, though – in fact, it’s probably best if they find this stuff themselves. The mASF forums describe it thus:

Don’t introduce [mASF] to anyone unless you know they are seeking to improve the same things as you. Why? Because through years of witnessing guys try to introduce this site to their AFC friends, the primary reactions of those friends have been negative because, until somebody understands this site or what it’s about, their ingrained societal beliefs simply overpower them. Only tell them when they’re ready or let them find the site through their own searches on the Internet.”

That said, I really enjoy talking obliquely about this stuff to people. Every girl I have talked to agrees that many men have a problem with talking to women. And just about every guy I talk to knows what I mean about ‘bad guys’ getting the girls.

Meeting and dating is so important because without making it through the dating phase, you aren’t going to be able to have a relationship. Wussy guys who aren’t confident and never talk to women don’t get many dates, and the few dates they might be ‘lucky’ enough to set up don’t tend to go well. They never end up back at the women’s place having breakfast the next day, or getting her to be his girlfriend … but they do get a lot of ‘Let’s Just Be Friends’ talks. The only way to improve that disastrous dating experience is to work on confidence and inner game and help guys learn how to be successful with women.


*What does it say about the average level of dating success in Auckland, NZ men that I was able to think of FIVE men, off the top of my head, who do not currently have girlfriends – but want them – and haven’t been on dates in, er, forever?

Wussiness in Relationships

•May 19, 2007 • 2 Comments

Wellington blogger Kiwicrog calls ‘bullshit‘ on my assertion that dating skills (like ‘cocky and funny’ humour, confidence and flirting) are relevant in relationships.

Well, let’s turn to the Master Himself. I learnt a lot from David DeAngelo’s fantastic E-Book Double Your Dating which is focussed on meeting women, getting their info, and going on successful dates with them. One of the most important parts is inner confidence about one’s own worth. Relationships, DeAngelo says, are beyond the scope of the book.

But skills and confidence with women are still essential in relationships, and I’ll tell you why. Wussiness is never attractive to women – especially in a boyfriend. Many breakups are caused by the attraction simply drying up, and when it fails on the women’s side, I suspect most of the time it is because her man has forgotten to keep being a strong and independent person and become a dependent, insecure wussy. David D:

The reality is that the reason she probably left you is because you had NO GAME. You were about as sexually interesting to her as Homer Simpson. If you want to get her back, go learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION …

Now that I feel more confident with women, I don’t feel like the world would end if I broke up with my girlfriend. The interesting bit is that rather than this making me less attached, it means I’m not ‘loving in fear’ anymore – worrying that she might leave me. I now know that I can attract women no matter what. Previously I might have described getting a girlfriend as ‘getting lucky’ or being in the right place at the right time, but now I know that getting into a relationship with my girlfriend was a conscious choice on my part – I chose her because she was what I wanted. My confidence has changed everything.
A few comments from David D will back me up here:

Always remember, don’t turn into a WUSSY if you do get into a relationship. If you do, you’ll either find yourself being dumped or wake up one day with a ring through your nose and a leash around your neck… and an unhappy woman in your life to boot.

I love it when married guys write in and tell me how this stuff is making their relationships better. Women never stop wanting a man to do the right things… if only more men knew this.




•May 17, 2007 • 3 Comments

Yesterday I got this poem from my girlfriend. Sometimes we exchange poems or love letters, which is really nice. Now when you are reading this, you may recognise elements of wussiness, but remember, wussiness doesn’t count so much for girls, especially when they are in love. (If I had written this, it would be a different story).


What am I – without you?
Less than you without me!
I say to you,
From you comes “we”

We, that is, You and I,
Never I times two!
If one ever puts I first
Then the “we” – is gone.

My girlfriend didn’t write the poem, but she chose it. It is translated from German.

Everyone needs a girlfriend. 🙂